Saying Yes to What Is: A Positive Message from Bruce Lloyd
Recently I went out to see the movie “Yes Man”. The main character, played by Jim Carrey, was challenged to say yes to everything. He did it in spite of his fears and his life was transformed. Instead of being lonely he had lots of new friends. Instead of spending nights alone he was out having fun nearly all the time. He got a promotion at work. He found a girl. They fell in love. He enjoyed his life like never before.
I have been noticing how often I say no. I’ve been noticing how often I choose safe and familiar instead of risky and new. I’ve also been noticing how much of life I watch go by and how boring safe can be.
My ego wants predictability, stability, even certainty. That’s not where life is lived. Life is fresh and new. Give me something real. Give me something raw. Give me something with an edge that cuts through all the layers of decorum and superficiality and political correctness. When did I start playing it so safe?
Why not throw away the script? As if I knew what I was doing anyway. Why not trust that my life has a higher purpose and that that purpose will be revealed to me by the opportunities that come my way? Surely there is more to life than having my needs met and avoiding pain. Primitive single celled organisms have been doing that for millions of years. My life, your life, has a deeper meaning.
There was a time when my higher self and I (this is an artificial distinction - we are one) shared the same agenda. Together we chose the circumstances of my life. We co-created a template, a framework that facilitated my spiritual growth. But I lost the plot. I forgot what I was doing. I began to live my life as if I were small and alone. I came to believe that I was vulnerable and I became afraid. Instead of living my life creatively I lived it reactively. Instead of being the hero of my story I became the victim. I started to play it safe.
One way we can say yes to life is through acceptance. By accepting what is as is, we have an opportunity to take responsibility for what we have been creating up until now. We are creators, each of us, and when we look at the people, the circumstances and the things we have surrounded ourselves with, we see where we have invested our attention our thoughts and our energies. When we say no to what shows up in our lives we deny our part in their creation. When we say no to what shows up in our lives, we cut ourselves off from our responsibility. We forfeit our ability to respond in a meaningful way to what we have been creating up until now. There is no power in that. When we are willing to embrace each new event or circumstance regardless of how prickly it may seem, then we are putting ourselves back in the driver’s seat. If we are to have any influence over those aspects of our creation that we do not like, we have to embrace them. It’s tempting to blame other people for our problems, or say it’s bad luck, but we’ve got to own it. Own it all, the parts we like, and especially the parts we do not.
Besides, to say no to what is, is insanity. It’s too late to wish it hadn’t happened. It’s too late to wish it weren’t here. It did happen. It is here. The only sensible thing to do is to decide who we are going to be in relationship to that. When we decide who we are going to be, then what we are going to do flows from that. Here are a couple of ways to deal with circumstances we do not like. We either work to change the situation, or we accept the situation and decide who we are going to be inside of it. If for example I don’t feel like going to work today, I could change the situation. I might go to school to learn new skills so I could find another job. I might decide to blow off work and go rob a bank. I might decide to go find a nice big cardboard box and go live under the freeway overpass. The other approach is to accept the situation, for the time being anyway, and work inside of that. We do this by asking ourselves the following question: “Given that this is the situation where do I go from here?” This requires us to say yes to what is. We accept the fact that the situation, while it may not be to our liking, is what it is. We might go to work. We might call in sick. We may not be satisfied with the situation but we accept it and we deal with it. That doesn’t preclude us from working to change the situation as well.
I have struggled with acceptance because I have confused acceptance with satisfaction. It is possible to have a desire for change and for growth without judging current conditions as wrong. I can say I am no longer satisfied with the way things are and not be in resistance to what is. Imagine we start an exercise program with the goal of running 10 miles. We begin by running 5 miles every day. Our bodies adapt themselves to the stress of daily 5 mile runs and then one day, after a few days of rest and recovery, we find that we can run 10 miles. If we continued with our 5 mile a day training program we would reach a point where we would no longer be getting better. In order to become a better runner we would need to increase our distance or increase our speed or some combination of those factors. If we decided to do something bigger, say a marathon, then 5 mile daily runs wouldn’t get us there. Running 5 miles a day didn’t one day become wrong, but it no longer satisfied us given where we wanted to go.
To create anything new we have to have a desire for something that is different from, or greater than what is. The challenge is to do that without judging what is as wrong. We could not experience ourselves as creators, which is what we are, without having a desire to change or improve upon what is. We need to look at the big picture with an appreciation for the opportunities it provides us to create and to express our potentials, rather than to select aspects of it and judge them as wrong or inferior. When we graduated from the third grade we went to the fourth grade. It’s not that fourth grade is good and third grade is bad. It’s just third grade. Third grade is just dandy for kids graduating from second grade. Many people never go beyond this habit of labeling things right and wrong, or good and bad. Instead let’s decide what we want and create it.
The temptation to judge becomes stronger when we aren’t willing to put forth the effort required to grow, change, or create something new. When we’re feeling lazy we find it easier to judge. Judging becomes the lazy alternative to change.
So notice those things you would change, but do not judge them. Do not say they are wrong or bad, unless you’d rather, it wouldn’t make you wrong or bad. View them as opportunities to express your creative potentials, and then take up the challenge. Engage the process. Whaddya say?
I have been noticing how often I say no. I’ve been noticing how often I choose safe and familiar instead of risky and new. I’ve also been noticing how much of life I watch go by and how boring safe can be.
My ego wants predictability, stability, even certainty. That’s not where life is lived. Life is fresh and new. Give me something real. Give me something raw. Give me something with an edge that cuts through all the layers of decorum and superficiality and political correctness. When did I start playing it so safe?
Why not throw away the script? As if I knew what I was doing anyway. Why not trust that my life has a higher purpose and that that purpose will be revealed to me by the opportunities that come my way? Surely there is more to life than having my needs met and avoiding pain. Primitive single celled organisms have been doing that for millions of years. My life, your life, has a deeper meaning.
There was a time when my higher self and I (this is an artificial distinction - we are one) shared the same agenda. Together we chose the circumstances of my life. We co-created a template, a framework that facilitated my spiritual growth. But I lost the plot. I forgot what I was doing. I began to live my life as if I were small and alone. I came to believe that I was vulnerable and I became afraid. Instead of living my life creatively I lived it reactively. Instead of being the hero of my story I became the victim. I started to play it safe.
One way we can say yes to life is through acceptance. By accepting what is as is, we have an opportunity to take responsibility for what we have been creating up until now. We are creators, each of us, and when we look at the people, the circumstances and the things we have surrounded ourselves with, we see where we have invested our attention our thoughts and our energies. When we say no to what shows up in our lives we deny our part in their creation. When we say no to what shows up in our lives, we cut ourselves off from our responsibility. We forfeit our ability to respond in a meaningful way to what we have been creating up until now. There is no power in that. When we are willing to embrace each new event or circumstance regardless of how prickly it may seem, then we are putting ourselves back in the driver’s seat. If we are to have any influence over those aspects of our creation that we do not like, we have to embrace them. It’s tempting to blame other people for our problems, or say it’s bad luck, but we’ve got to own it. Own it all, the parts we like, and especially the parts we do not.
Besides, to say no to what is, is insanity. It’s too late to wish it hadn’t happened. It’s too late to wish it weren’t here. It did happen. It is here. The only sensible thing to do is to decide who we are going to be in relationship to that. When we decide who we are going to be, then what we are going to do flows from that. Here are a couple of ways to deal with circumstances we do not like. We either work to change the situation, or we accept the situation and decide who we are going to be inside of it. If for example I don’t feel like going to work today, I could change the situation. I might go to school to learn new skills so I could find another job. I might decide to blow off work and go rob a bank. I might decide to go find a nice big cardboard box and go live under the freeway overpass. The other approach is to accept the situation, for the time being anyway, and work inside of that. We do this by asking ourselves the following question: “Given that this is the situation where do I go from here?” This requires us to say yes to what is. We accept the fact that the situation, while it may not be to our liking, is what it is. We might go to work. We might call in sick. We may not be satisfied with the situation but we accept it and we deal with it. That doesn’t preclude us from working to change the situation as well.
I have struggled with acceptance because I have confused acceptance with satisfaction. It is possible to have a desire for change and for growth without judging current conditions as wrong. I can say I am no longer satisfied with the way things are and not be in resistance to what is. Imagine we start an exercise program with the goal of running 10 miles. We begin by running 5 miles every day. Our bodies adapt themselves to the stress of daily 5 mile runs and then one day, after a few days of rest and recovery, we find that we can run 10 miles. If we continued with our 5 mile a day training program we would reach a point where we would no longer be getting better. In order to become a better runner we would need to increase our distance or increase our speed or some combination of those factors. If we decided to do something bigger, say a marathon, then 5 mile daily runs wouldn’t get us there. Running 5 miles a day didn’t one day become wrong, but it no longer satisfied us given where we wanted to go.
To create anything new we have to have a desire for something that is different from, or greater than what is. The challenge is to do that without judging what is as wrong. We could not experience ourselves as creators, which is what we are, without having a desire to change or improve upon what is. We need to look at the big picture with an appreciation for the opportunities it provides us to create and to express our potentials, rather than to select aspects of it and judge them as wrong or inferior. When we graduated from the third grade we went to the fourth grade. It’s not that fourth grade is good and third grade is bad. It’s just third grade. Third grade is just dandy for kids graduating from second grade. Many people never go beyond this habit of labeling things right and wrong, or good and bad. Instead let’s decide what we want and create it.
The temptation to judge becomes stronger when we aren’t willing to put forth the effort required to grow, change, or create something new. When we’re feeling lazy we find it easier to judge. Judging becomes the lazy alternative to change.
So notice those things you would change, but do not judge them. Do not say they are wrong or bad, unless you’d rather, it wouldn’t make you wrong or bad. View them as opportunities to express your creative potentials, and then take up the challenge. Engage the process. Whaddya say?
posted by MotorDoc at
7:13 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home